Sunday, 26 June 2011

Friends forever

Sush and Vashi, this is totally dedicated to you guys.. 

My friends through and through...

Sushmita and Varsha, two of my closest friends who have stuck through with me right from high school and I have never stopped a while to thank them. So here I am and I would like to say my heartfelt thanks to both for what they have done for me and more importantly who they are and what they represent in my life.
So what really brought about this reminiscence, you ask me? Well here goes...
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon and surprisingly I had gone down to my Art class. Sush and I got to talking about Vashi's impending departure to the US. We both know what the girl has been through in these past few years and though we are gonna miss her alot, we know in our hearts tht she needs to leave, she needs the break. Vashi we are both right behind you on this and we have yor back and most importantly we are so damn proud of you! The three of us had started this class on Varsha's insistence and enthusiasm. So yeah, we pretty much did a lot of things together.
 Its been over seven years since, and we are now working women waiting to step into the next threshold of life. During all these years, we have had our own shares of ups and downs and most definitely many misunderstandings. But through them all, my friends patiently stood by me as I hope I did for them
We have teased each other about the different guys in life, the funny hairdos, preposterously boring classes in college and later on cribbing about how bitchy life can be.. 
Of the three, Vashi is the heart of the circle, she keeps us together.. Whatever she does, she puts her heart and soul into it and that includes fighting with us :) We are so gonna miss you..
As for Sush, she has always been the fashion diva. She is the one we turn to when we want a makeover or to go shopping or most importantly for me, she's my sole company while eating Italian cuisine while Vashi sits sulking in the corner of the table. Oh by the way, she is also the darling of the three.
 As for me, you ask? I do not know. I am still trying to figure it out my self.. But here is to my friends. My two best friends.. 
Whatever, and wherever we go, that never changes. And guys thanks to you both for being who you are and for accepting me for who I am..

Three cheers to Vashi and Sushi :)

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Losing myself

Its been a very long time since I stopped to take stock of my life. And now that I have decided to do so today, I find myself to be totally lost.
"Naa jaane kahan se aayi thi,
naa jaane kahan ko jaana hai"
The same questions are haunting me by day and transforming into vivid nightmares by night. What kind of a predicament am I in? I don't seem to be in too much trouble,but I am barely afloat in this storm of life..
Coming right back to it. I am lost in this journey and ironically I have also lost sight of who I really am and those unique and sometimes irritating traits that make me or rather have made me to be the person I am today
In the time I took to write this blog, almost three of my friends came on chat and the same old questions, "How are you?" and "what are you upto these days?" Simple though these may seem to be others, I couldn't answer them honestly. Courtesy required me to reply politely to both, I didn't want to overload them with my confusions and chase away those few who still stop by to say hi and inquire after me. Then I asked myself, "Am I really alright?" and "What really am I doing these days?" Again no answers..
This is where frustration begins to seep in. Why am I not ok? Why isn't something good happening? Why don't I have answers? It is my life for crying out loud!!!
I look around me and see people having problems with their lovers, in-laws, parents,etc.From where I stand, those seem to be more manageable compared to the internal war raging inside me.
Am I blowing this out of proportion or am I worrying the right amount? I don't know but here I am penning my feelings hoping that there would suddenly be a flash of light and clarity of thoughts
In the whole hustle and bustle of trying to fit in, I lost myself and am slowing losing my identity. I wish I could go back to that rebellious girl who really wasn't dependent on anyone. I lived life the way I liked it and expected people to accept who I am never forcing they to fit into my norms. Then why is it being expected of me? Why am I asked to change? Asked to fit in?
I have to figure out what I am really meant to do.. Where do I really want to go? Am I on the right track, in the right direction ? Or should I being going in an entirely different path? What is my destiny and whom should I allow to accompany me on this? Or should I walk the distance all alone? I s that what I am meant to do? Is that how I will ever succeed?
Is this what everyone claims to be "The Journey of Self Discovery?????????"