Monday 18 June 2012

Insecurities in life




We are born into this world as carefree young children, but as we grow older, we have insecurities that grow along with us.


Where or when do these arise, we would never be able to fix on a specific date and time but they do exist.
I have come across various sects of people and mingled with them on a daily basis and noticed that even small incidents can trigger this fear within us. 


As a person I have the fear that I am not good enough for the people around me. And not everyone helps me to overcome this. There are a few who do their best to embed this deeper into my heart and soul. And it has been imprinted so well that I often wonder how I can have as many friends as I do. At the back of my mind, I keep thinking whether they are only tolerating me because they have now known me this long, or do they really like spending time with me? But I do have friends who reassure me time and again that I am loved and respected. I thank the Almighty for sending these beautiful angels into my life, they keep my sanity intact and morale high when I am low. 


However one of the most peculiar ones I have come across is when a mother has gotten worried when her two siblings were close to each other. I have actually seen her trying to blow small things out of proportion between the two so that they were both close only to her and not to each other. Putting things into each other’s ears and making one look bad to the other somehow soothes her ego. And then trying to patch them up makes her feel all-important. I guess people do not think above themselves when it comes to their insecurities. This however shocked me a lot. Can people be so mean and selfish? I guess they are, and there are living examples for the same.


But what brings on these insecurities? Can we ever reach the root cause of these and unplug them? I do not think so. Unless we as an individual take a conscious call not to give in to them. When we realise that people matter over other things and most importantly over our so-called egos, we will give them the space and respect that they deserve. 


Think of all those people around us who yearn for our love and affection but never get them. Think of all those friends and family who love us more than anything else, but what do we do in return? Subject them to our unfounded insecurities and fears? Do they deserve that? 
It is very easy to get angry and lash out all your temper on that one poor soul who actually comes in to console you. But I urge you, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “is this anger justified?” “Is there another way to handle this?” 


Sometimes not all your choices and decisions are right and you have to live with the guilt of having hurt someone very close to your heart.


 We have no rights to create rifts between people because of our perception of them or situations. We have to learn to accept people for who they are and how they are, just like most of them accept us. Do not ruin your precious relationships with either family friends or that one special person. In this age of fast paced cars and race to ambitions, these beautiful relations are hard to come by. We would part of the lucky few if we could sustain the relationship and keep the spark going. The magic lies in our own hands. 


You wear that lucky charm over your mind. It’s just letting go of prejudices and letting people in… Into your lives and most importantly into your hearts. That would the greatest treasure you could claim to possess especially in this world that is starved for love. Don’t let go of your chance of happiness.  


As you admire the wonderful things God has made, also remember you are one of them-beautiful inside and out, blessed, special and most importantly loved.




Life is too short to be spent in little frets.



2 comments:

  1. Sobana, you have touched 2 sensitive topics of psychology, Insecurities in relationships and Anger management.

    Insecurities starts when people feel that they havent been given importance which they want or which they expect. Can this be overcome? Yes, we can.

    The trick lies in matching their expectation. But how would you even know their expectation before matching it. Not many, openly tell what they really expect from us, because they don't even know themselves, sometimes. Once you understand what do they expect from you, and then it becomes a cakewalk. You either live upto their expectations or have a valid reason for not living upto their expectation. This makes easier to pacify the insecure person.

    Here again, expectations in a any relationships becomes a trade. You expect something because you have done something to them.

    Secondly, you have touched on taking out your temper on someone whom it is not intended to. But why do we need to take our temper out. Let’s get into the root cause. Why did you get angry? Because you wanted something to happen. Yes, you have expected things to happen. Now you know what the root cause is?

    In relationships, We show love and affection, and we want something back. What do we trade here? We have become yet other traders as we we along passage of time.

    Let’s not be traders is all I could tell you from my past experience, and I learnt this hard way.

    Suresh

    ReplyDelete
  2. nice reflective piece Sobana.

    ReplyDelete

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